One thing that I have begun to appreciate it is that most if not all the suffering in life is created by my/ourselves. I have read a bit of Peter Russell’s work and it is most interesting. So here is a great video that will provide a reality check for most of us.

What I was intrigued with was the idea that because we often only gain peace of mind (which incidentally, is probably not what we think it is) occassionally, when the peace  leaves us we begin to feel something is lacking,missing, we feel discontented.  This then results us  looking at the past to see what we have done wrong, or fix, or start worrying about the future.  Which means we never allow ourselves to enjoy and be fully immersed in the present, which is life, abundant, itself.

Next post will be about Neutral Thinking.  Why  negative and indeed positive thinking  frankly doesn’t work.

Peace and Love,

Gavin

I got a bit caught out today, just in time to get at least one post for May. Can’t believe it is already the end of the month. A lovely day though. Time to right at least one blog this month. It looks better doesn’t it? More active, the search engines like it better too.

Even this small communication from me begs the question…what do I really want in life? Because up until now so much of my life , it turns out, has been run by desires and thoughts that remain unconscious. Until of course something painful comes a long to wake me up!

In my case it was the collapse of my property business, death of someone I loved, and the realisation that the direction I was going in my life was more or less completely contrary to my purpose and values.

How could it be possible? I consider myself a reasonably good person, spiritually practical, wanting the best for my wife and family…or am I?

Turns out I was wrong. In fact I am just the same as everyone eles , basically self – interested. But at least now I know. I am no different from anyone else at heart. What a great revelation. We’re all the same!

Self – interested.

Looking outside especially for the things I thought I wanted. To be a millionaire, debt free, loads of time to pursue what I enjoyed with my friends and family. A loving marriage.

Except my self-interest prevented me from having it all, that is, what really counted. I got very very stuck looking for what I wanted.

Deep down I knew it was happiness I sought, and that was to be found on the inside, not in the money or status or things. In fact money I found out was a real issue for me which unless I could deal with it in an aware, integral way, would always be an issue come to haunt me. Something I served rather than serving me. A constant restlessness for more and more and more, never seeing the abundance that is all around, inside and out. Never knowing when enough was enough.

The quest isn’t over, will it ever be? Well perhaps for the very rare enlightened individual , the quest may be over. But for most of us, we are still looking for that happiness, peace and imperturbability. Which is actually right here, right now.

Its never left you and me.

Now isn’t that good news?

Till the next time.

Love and peace,

Gavin

If you are anything like me and are trying to do what you do and have enough money to live from without spending all the hours God sends to get it doing what you really love then listen up.  The thing alot of people say is, ‘do what you love and the money will come.’  The truth is, that only works if the obstacles you have and the beliefs you hold about money, energy and time are in a healthy place in ypour life.  Believe me, I am talking from experience.  If not you can find yourself ‘scuppered’.  And I mean either feeling guilty about  having too much money or depressed or worried about having too little. And probably eventually finding yourself increasingly in debt with no real plan for your future spending or saving, let alone the impact that the pursuit (or not) of money is affecting you, those you are close too, the wider community and ultimately the planet we live on.

What I am interested in is allowing money to be a vehicle to fulfilling your true purpose in life, or even your happiness and those others in our life. In the end, unless we see money for what it is and grasp the reality of it in our lives it can easily become an excuse or (seeming cause) for not living a fully alive life or fully exploring the meaning, purpose or contribution to life.

Transform your relationship with money.

A healthy, integrated relationship with money is deeply tied to the sense of satisfaction and fulfillment that you can get from your engagement with your family, your community and the planet. Perhaps what we need to think about more is that the relationship we each have with money is  more than just  earning, spending, debts and savings. We need to reflect on the time  it takes to make money in our life too and the value we place on unpaid work.

Have you thought about  the true impact of your money  interactions? Or have you thought about how  that impacts on and reflect your true intentions?  Well up until recently I can honestly say I didn’t. Somewhere along the way , I guess almost unconsciously I was, but, until recently I have only just begun to reflect more fully on the implications of my money intentions, and how it does or does not support myself and others.

The credit crunch has played its part in helping me refocus on some long lost intentions. But for many others life has gone on as usual.  So right now I am proposing a  programme that is about helping you eliminate the unhealthy obstacles to having money and finding the way to using money as a tool to get on with the life you want to live. This programme will  coach you in how to act with intelligence, integrity and independence in relation to money and the economic pressures we all face.

If you want to work on something like this together with others wishing to transform their relationship with money, please contact me here  for details of the programme.

Peace and Blessings,

Gavin J Gowans

PS This programme is  NOT, and I emphasise NOT about trying to make money through BMV property schemes, personal development programmes, wealth building schemes, positive thinking, network marketing or some kind of business venture.  Although you may well be involved or get involved in these. It is about learning  how to have enough and a little more AND be happier, free and financially independent with integrity.  Click here for more information.

 We all know that music can improve our mood. Yet few people know there is actually a scientific field called music therapy with board certifications and degreed programs from schools around the world. Even fewer people are familiar with the field of sound healing, also practiced around the world, with its roots going back to the earliest records of ancient cultures and tribal healers.

The Scientific Case for Music Healing

In recent decades, the research around sound healing has established a scientific link between music and its ability to impact the body at the cellular level. 

Studies conducted in the 1990s at Bryan Memorial Hospital in Lincoln, Nebraska and St. Mary’s Hospital in Mequon, Wisconsin reinforced the healing power of music. Researchers concluded that music significantly lowered heart rates, eased blood pressure, and helped regulate respiration rates among surgery patients.

Dr. Claudius Conrad, a senior surgical resident at Massachusetts General Hospital and accomplished pianist, has studied the effects of music on critically ill patients. His findings showed that those who listened to Mozart sonatas required less sedation when compared to a group that listened to no music. Moreover, they had lower stress hormone levels, blood pressure, and heart rates than the control group.

A 2007 study in Germany showed that music therapy helped stroke patients recover faster. Various additional studies suggest that music can benefit the immune system, improve the ability to focus, help control pain, create a feeling of well-being, and greatly reduce the anxiety of patients awaiting surgery.

The Power of Music and Voice

The healing powers of music and the human voice are being combined in a series of audio recordings featuring the compositions by seven-time Emmy award-wining composer Gary Malkin. Malkin’s work has been praised by the likes of authors Don Campbell (The Mozart Effect and Music: Physician for Times to Come) and Dr. Christiane Northrup, M.D. (Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom). Malkin’s music, said Northrup, “connects me with my soul and inner wisdom, moving me to tears of gratitude… I’m moved beyond words by this profoundly healing work.”

Developed by the team of Malkin and healing music pioneer Michael Stillwater (co-creators of Graceful Passages, Care for the Journey, and The Heart of Healing), spoken words and customized music are combined with extraordinary results. In Heart of Healing album, for example, the words of Thich Nhat Hanh, Marianne Williamson, Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, and others – spoken in soulfully soothing voices – together with his own original music. The combination produces a result which is easily accepted by the conscious mind, while, at the same time, dives deep into the recesses of the unconscious. Healing music like this produces a profound feeling of relaxation and tranquility.

Dr. Eva Selhub, a clinical instructor at Harvard Medical School and senior physician at the Benson-Henry Institute for Mind Body Medicine, researches the differences between bodies prone to illness and those prone to health. She discovered that feeling nurtured, loved, and connected actually reverses chronic stress in a deeper, more enduring way, and leads to physical healing and emotional balance. Malkin’s music helps produce this kind of experience.

According to Malkin, “few strategies are as immediate and integral as engaging in a daily music listening practice. Few practices engage our hearts and spirits as successfully as finding music that allows us to relax, breathe deeply, and reflect on what matters most to us. When you begin to take your listening habits seriously, you will begin to feel empowered as you realize that you can shift the emotional and spiritual context of your life, as simply as designing your own sonic environments, tailored to your lifestyle and taste.”

Click here: Wisdom Of The World to sample Gary Malkin’s music from the Sound Sanctuaries collections by Wisdom of the World.

Peace,

Gavin J Gowans

PS Yes I get paid a commission if you buy from the link above.  I appreciate it!

Enough is enough and a sustainable life on the planet probably depends very much on the relationship we have with money.  So some time in the near future I plan to run a webinar on transforming our relationship with work and money.

What are your thoughts?

How  at ease are you with your work life?  Are you at ease with trading your time for money? Do you have enough?  

Warm Regards,

Gavin J Gowans

This year has undoubtedly been both one of the most challenging yet rewarding years of my life. Without going into the details I have been challenged to the very core of my being, and there is much more yet to come!

It was precipitated by my own feeling that I needed to live life more fully and be more alive than ever.  I’ve realised that for me at least a life that is n0t lived from within, from awareness of my deepest being and feelings was neither what I am nor called to be. I would be  short changing  myself and ultimately everyone and everything in my life.  A life of contentedness with whatever happens.

A life with no limitation. By that I do not mean there are no physical or other ‘limitations’ but rather that the beliefs, judgements and subsequent expectations of future consequences does not prevent me from living fully in the power of the present moment.  As Eckhart Tolle has popularised, the Power Of Now.

The credit crunch has a lot to answer for but its effect on me has been marvellously positive.  It has resulted in a loss of my former property business along with many other things that essentially are not important in my life.  Things, relationships and beliefs and judgements that in fact were preventing me living a life on true purpose.  The hardest of which to face was a sense of my own un worthiness and insufficiency. There just never seemed to be enough.

Somehow, finding the courage to be stretched to places of extreme discomfort and allowing myself to accept these moments of discomfort, and  ‘use’ them as pointers to a deeper Truth,  has in fact freed me to realise that so much of what I think is happening is in reality not really happening, at all.  Most of how I think I see life is more or less completely made up.

As I see this, it allows me to recognise the true self, the abundant, loving self that I am. Not just in me but in others too. So the discomfort I experience is turned upside down so to speak and becomes the means to liberation.

Back in February I decided to retrain as a Life Coach, truly wishing to reconnect to others, in a service orientated way.  The death of a young daughter, only 18 years of age, of friends of mine  had touched me deeply.  However, her sudden, unexpected death enabled me to reflect on my life and over a period of time I was moved by a rare combination of clarity and courage. I realised that my purpose is to love, be loved and serve others in whatever way I can.  I also decided to begin training as a Life Coach and in  Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, with a view also of teaching meditation and other well being practices, online.

But there were family issues, marital issues and financial issues I needed to sort out. Long standing issues that had left me feeling disillusioned, isolated, insecure and alone. My traditional way of sorting this would have been to brainstorm the ‘problems’ , work out a plan and work hard to realise the plan.  This had served me for most of my life, I am grateful for all the ways it has served me, but clearly its time had come.  I had always found it particularly hard to trust my everyday feelings, never mind my deeper feelings and intuitive wisdom.

So I boldly decided to live mindfully every moment I could remember, to let  go of feelings as they arose and be appreciative of whatever happened whether or not  I judged things that happened to me, thoughts that arose or external events and relationships as they were impacting on me. Whether they were judged to be positive or negative. I stopped planning, strategising and goal setting, simply taking action on whatever inspired and motivated me when I got up every day.

Somehow I found the courage to live this way. Driven in some uncompromising way by the knowledge that so many of the spiritual and philosophical masters before us had taught, that we are already the freedom we are looking for. To live each day as it comes, reacting to life as it arises, doing only that which I am inspired or feel motivated to do.  Untrammelled by the  promptings of a false, over protective, dominating ego, hypnotically determining my thoughts and actions, wanting security, control and above all approval. 

At times I felt desperate, anxious and very afraid. I felt selfish, guilty even, that I was putting myself first. I was in a completely new place, with none of the usual footholds of a to do list or daily planner.

I think the hardest thing to do was actually feeling the knowingness of being one with God.

Now I know for some the word God, Christ, even Bhudha or whatever can be very off putting.  But this is simply what I believe. And most people even scientists agree there is a  Power in the universe, whatever you wish to name it.

This has been life affirming for me.  But it takes time, wonderful time, it doesn’t happen overnight, now I realise this  I wish it takes however long it takes.   Because in the end as much as I feel discomfort it feels like the Royal route to awareness and freedom of being the person I was born to be. Free to be.

And particularly this kind of intuitive, alignment with a much greater and more powerful force than I, though not separate from that Self. Means that my life , although seemingly doing or rather not doing, but being, each day, totally contradicts everything I think I should be doing.

In fact it was in that doing mode that I have got so caught up in.  This is now a rambling sort of blog post.  But for the first time in my life since I can remember as a child, I have no agenda other than living my life imperturbed in the face of  whatever happens, as it happens, with no agenda other than to let go and let God in whatever discomfort or indeed good feelings I have. To focus on loving, being loved and in the service of others. To trust and actually be surprised at what life can bring each day.

The concept of the Four Marriages, (see the Three Marriages -David Whyte) that is the marriage with God, myself, my wife (or other relationship) and work I realise that in whatever I do, there must be love .  Nothing less will ever do.  Here I am not talking simply of the lovely romantic feelings, but rather the decision to Love. This year I began falling in Love all over again. The knowing that through this person, work or relationship that I am loved and can be loved, fulfilled, at peace, in joy.

Are there times when it is too much? Yes.  Are there times when I doubt, am confused and afraid?  Certainly. Are there times I think I am going mad? Most definitely.  But gradually, quite slowly it is dawning on me that the life of freedom is possible. Not without suffering, but much of that is self generated. Not what I ever thought or imagined it to be, but something far more liberating awaits those who with courage and faith take action and begins to recognise the infinite expansion possible in this life.

The courage to face ones own fear and discomfort on a moment to moment basis, to affirm ones true identity in God, to let go of the many illusions that one has built up and taken on through many millennia, to realise the infinite co-creative possibilities and potential that one has and to be appreciative of all that has happened and all that is happening, is by far the place where I’d rather be.

There is no security, out there.  Have courage, you have everything here and now that you will ever need, and more.  Heaven is within  you and all creation is eagerly waiting for that to be revealed. Heaven can be on Earth.

You are enough, you have enough and do enough.  You are sufficient, abundant in fact.  This realisation that who and what I am does not depend on any circumstance, person or thing but on the Source of Life itself, is true living knowledge indeed.

Living from that place more and more, having the courage to allow the inner attitudes necessary to act and live that life of Love and expanding not collapsing inwards, but letting life flow outwards in blessing. Trusting that in the end everything is OK and will be OK.

I truly wish you ALL an abundant, happy, and Joy filled  life in 2010

Peace and Love,

Gavin J Gowans

What is MBSR?

The Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program was developed at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center. MBSR is a common form of complementary therapy addressing a variety of health problems – most commonly stemming from stress.

Completed Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction studies have found that pain-related drug utilisation was decreased, and activity levels and feelings of self-esteem increased, for a majority of participants. More information on these studies can be found on the University of Massachusetts Medical School website: Center for Mindfulness; http://www.umassmed.edu/cfm/index.aspx

The Online mindfulness-based stress reduction course  (MBSR) I run is designed to help you learn new ways of handling difficult physical sensations, feelings and moods.

The core skill that you will learn is mindfulness: Mindfulness is a basic human quality, a way of learning to pay attention to whatever is happening in your life that allows you a greater sense of connection to your life inwardly and outwardly. Mindfulness is also a practice, a systematic method aimed at cultivating clarity, insight, and understanding.

In the context of your health, mindfulness is a way for you to experientially learn to take better care of yourself by exploring and understanding the interplay of mind and body and mobilizing your own inner resources for coping, growing, and healing.

Most people completing MBSR programmes report that they gain lasting benefits, such as:
 

• More energy and enthusiasm
• A greater capacity for relaxation
• More self-esteem and confidence
• An increased ability to handle stressful situations
• Decrease physical and psychological symptoms from illness
• Reduce pain levels and an enhanced ability to cope and deal with chronic pain

Who is MBSR for?

I would say everybody! But particularly it’s  for you if you want to learn how to take better care of yourself and discover a deeper sense of ease and peace of mind—and if you are willing to actively engage in your own health and well-being.

Mindfulness practice is ideal for cultivating greater awareness of the unity of mind and body, as well as of the ways our unconscious thoughts, feelings, and behaviours can undermine emotional and physical health. The mind is known to be a factor in stress and stress-related disorders, and mindfulness has been shown to positively affect a range of autonomic physiological processes, such as lowering blood pressure and reducing overall emotional reactivity.

In addition to mindfulness practices, MBSR uses different forms of body movement to help reverse disuse atrophy attributable to our culture’s largely sedentary lifestyle, especially for those with pain and chronic illnesses.

Let Me Know Now If You Want To Do It.

So, what are you waiting for?  if you think you are interested, either in the group 8 week course, or an individual course. Just contact me now.

Peace,

Gavin J Gowans

P.s. If you are ready to commit to do the work, you can find more balance, control and participation in your life, than before.

No matter what our views on religion might be. In the current world climate, I for one support any body sincerely trying to end conflict, whatever its source, and bring more compassion into our lives.

There is no faith without compassionate action.  It is compassion , says the Bhudda, that brings us to nirvana.  Confuscious said , “Do not do to others that which you wish you do not wish to be done to yourself.”  Jesus said ” Love your enemies….and do not judge others.”

This tenet, known as the Golden Rule, is found in all the religious traditions, but so often not acted out in every day life by those who follow this very rule.

So if we truly wish to to be happy, having compassion for ourself  and others through actions in ordinary life, is an essential practice.

Perhaps you too wish to sign up for the Charter For Compassion http://charterforcompassion.org/ . Have a look at this video first….

Peace and Love,

Gavin J Gowans

What I mean is, there is this idea that if we simply, (or
maybe not so simply!) change our inner/personal thoughts, this
will change the world all at the same time.  Notice that the
idea of these is that it is all about inner transformation alone,
that will change the world.

But maybe this isn’t really true. Maybe we need to transcend
what is probably “magical thinking” and step into the
liberating power of self-responsibility and enlightened
action.

Are you a victim? Do you feel out of control? Stressed. Out
of life/balance.  Feeling lacking in some way?  It is not
surprising then that you are you attracted to the idea that I
can be in charge of my life.  Hey, and having control is OK,
I am not knocking it.  Having a healthy feeling of security, love
and control is important, maybe even essential.
 
The science of Neuroplasticity is showing us thatwe can all rewire our brains. But even there, it is not simply changing our thinking that rewires us, it is theactions we make along with it that reinforces the neural
pathways.   With frequently remarkable results. See Norman Doidge’s work.

Increasingly I come across people who believe that there
is no one else but ourselves and that we solely create our
own reality.  Underlying this belief is the idea that the
thoughts we think themselves create reality, if we just
change our thoughts, it will create the world that we want.

But perhaps what is really happening is closer to the idea
that the thoughts that we believe in create reality because
we act on them.  The thoughts that come up throughout the
day, we then identify with, and we create reality because we
act on them.  You could start to get very stressed about the
thoughts you hold. Couldn’t you?

The message seems to be, “When I Get my inner state right
life will all work out the way I want it.”
But have you ever asked the question that, if I am to create
a different life and world I am going to have to change my
behaviour in a radical way? How does that feel?  Doesn’t it
make sense? And if it does, how do we do it?

With all the focus on the inner state, which is rightly and
primarily the place we need to focus, that is on our interior
state. But not at the expense of not taking action. What we
do ultimately matters a lot more than what we think. But what
we do is not often what we most want to do.  It can be
awkward, confusing, and definitely frustrating.

The problem is that often the arising of thoughts that emerge
in our head, and the feelings we experience will affect our
choices.  But does this have to be the case? The purpose of
focusing on practices such as meditation or enquiry 
is to free us from our conditioning, and as we do this we become more aware
This allows us to be in a place where our thoughts,feelings and actions
are increasingly in alignment.

If you think about it for yourself. What makes people
attractive to you? What do you admire most in others, or what
do you want to model that you see in others? Isn’t it the
choices they make, the way they respond, how they behave, how
they are acting that you like? 

If our thoughts get right, and you act on them, then the results
can be very attractive and psoitive change will occur in the world.

Let’s turn to the interior life again. In meditation you can
learn to observe what is called the ‘Monkey mind’. That part
of us that is constantly thinking, thinking, thinking.  If
you could get to a place where you aren’t distracted. Where
thoughts  don’t distract you as much, and effect you less.
In a sense you become the witness of the thoughts. How then does this
translate into action?

We’re not that bound to action, are we?

When you begin to see this, be this way, you are off
automatic pilot, not driven by the thoughts and feelings you are
experiencing moment by moment. Stimulated by all the things
around you and within you. It’s when you respond to the same stimulus
in a different less attached or averse way.  It’s how you begin to
act out in tandem with the thoughts you choose to identify with.

You can begin to get space between you and your thoughts. 
Then you can make different choices and have options of the
thoughts you wish to decide from and ultimately act on.
We change outer action, with the thoughts.  Intentions are
not enough.

When we think about people that we really admire, are they
people who are just great thinkers? Probably not. What we
generally looking at are people that we admire and who are
good models of how we’d like to be. Or at least what we think
an enlightened or good people  should act.  We generally don’t
care as much what they are thinking about but how they act.

So what I am saying that at the end of the day it isn’t so
much what we think that is as important, what really matters
more is what we do with our thoughts. But how do you work out
how to do the right, loving thing?  Is it not generally already
known by us?  A kind of commonsense. Isn’t there a conscience, already. 
But we really struggle with our consciences don’t we?

What I am suggesting then is that deep down we all ready know
what we could be doing, why not start making choices that we 
already know we can make? Take the actions that already know
that we need take. I am not saying this is easy, but seems
the best thing to do. It is possible.

It is a fairly common assertion that there is a collective
neural net, what Jung calls the collective unconscious.  If
we all sit around and fill the world with good thoughts?  How
is it really going to change?  Who is going to do it? How is
everything going to transform itself?

Who is going to change the world?  Who really cares?
Thoughts are just mechanically generated, they arise
spontaneously in consciousness, just like clouds scudding
across the sky.  We want to be free, and be filled with a
kind of passion to live a liberated service life.  And do
God’s will, or the will of a Higher Power, which ever way you
look at it.

Perhaps the question I would ask you is. Would you be
willing, to say to your self.  “It doesn’t matter so much
what I feel, so much what I think, although important but
rather how I act on who I truly am? To live from and expand
from the true self, true inner life, without the other stuff
that is going on.

Would I be willing to accept that I am enough, I am
sufficient, and have everything already, in me, to have confidence
to make the loving choices for those around me, family,
friend, co workers, neighbours, wife, partner, the environment?

We need to accept the burden of knowledge that you affect
everything and everyone around you.  We are one. The fate of
life rests on your shoulders.  We each have personal
responsibility for our actions. I do not think we can fix the world,
if we all just think positive happy thoughts, that everything will
be a better place.

Now the danger here again is that we live in a very doing
society one that places great emphasis on doing and getting. 
alot less on being.  And whilst the emphasis is here on doing
what is best.  The truth is we need to get off automatic
pilot, our conditioned automatic thinking and doing, to be in
alignment with our truest selves, and expand and create the
space for choices that bring life, and love, through our
actions.  How do we really trust that what we chose to do
is really the right thing and not a trick of the false self?
Well, this is an another article I guess.

These actions are informed by a moral choice.  One that is
informed by the part a greater being than our own small
selves is trying to evolve us into.  When we see our
responsibility to love, and the moral imperative to be of
service in what we do with our lives. Then the world can
probably change into something we can only dream of right
now.

Otherwise what is the alternative?

Peace,

Gavin J Gowans

There is something about these programs that somehow appeal to the sense of failure, lack, wanting more, insufficiency.  The self help manuals all promise a more glorious future, usually involving, winning or success in love, money, business, and rich rewards in relationships, or things like houses, cars, friends or lovers.

I say this with some regret, because I am the same as many of you reading this. I have been to countless self improvement workshops, read books, listened to tapes, CD’s, watched video, DVD series, downloads, mp3′s, Youtube, Teleseminars, Webinars, ebooks, ecourses, online training programs and so on.

I’ve also received counselling and life coaching (I have a certificate in counselling skills, and another in Life Coaching) at different times in my life.  Please don’t misunderstand me, that is what I thought I needed at the time and at some level I found it beneficial in understanding my story, helping raise my awareness and understanding.

Have you noticed the attraction to self-improvement, what it is based on, like advertising generally?  Look at any advert and see what the message is offering you.  Doesn’t it promote the belief that you too would be better off if only you had their latest and greatest particular model of car, hair shampoo, food product, holiday, clothing or home?  Or maybe it’s their latest personal development program, to make you an online millionaire in only 7 days. Marketing secrets, rags to riches stories, self-development programs and home businesses. 

Even more than that though, the underlying message is that there is something lacking in you that only there product or service or belief system can fill. You are just not good enough, worthy enough, sufficient enough as a person or financially. Or, there is something wrong with you. It comes down to self image doesn’t it?  You are not powerful enough or lovable enough, are you?

All these programs have one thing in common, you are doing something wrong, and if you only knew the step-by-step secrets of success (which they will show you for a fee) in overcoming adversity.  You would be rich and successful and happy.  They promise us that if only you could discover what you are doing wrong, usually something in your subconscious, and do the work on it, everything will be OK. Then you will be the perfect person you are meant to be.

Again, don’t misunderstand me.  We all grow through overcoming adversity, it is great to hear stories and be inspired by those coming to terms with trouble and beating it.  Right?  But what about the adversity itself?  Isn’t there vital lessons to be learned in the thick of it?  When our work, or marriage or relationship with our true self, God or some other/s seems impossible?  Perhaps there is no way of fully participating in any of these major parts of our life without coming to terms with all the ways it is impossible to do it.

You know what I have found out? That deep down we are all think and feel we are not good enough.  Have you ever thought about that? You may not have, but unless you are entirely cut off from your self, and perhaps you may well, be a little silence could bring you to feel that sense of unworthiness.

But what is the underlying message, that there is something lacking in your life that having this product would make you a better person, a successful, wealthier and happier life.

It is this sense of unworthiness, that there is something missing, that there is something I am lacking that provides the fuel for the fast sale self improvement program.  The feelings of anxiety, fear, worry, the sense of feeling we are a long way away from what we want tells us something about our work.  What may be actually happening is that we are at the beginning or we have forgotten where and who we are.  And it is this very gap, space or absence that energises us and indeed creates an acute attention, and sets up a dynamic that will provide the means of getting unstuck, moving forward to next part of our life. Eventually doing the impossible.

And that the very weaknesses and the blind spots we have been avoiding turn out to be the strength we need to complete the task.  By understanding weaknesses in ourselves (and others) we have compassion for ourselves and for others.

How does a person start?  Well I won’t go into all the answers right here, right now.  But as a suggestion you could….. 

Find and create a space for silence in your life. 

Begin to listen

Have compassion and be your own best friend

Peace,

Gavin J Gowans

PS An Even more optimistic thought might be the fact that there is an essential you that is completely perfect as it is/you are  and doesn’t need anything else added to it.