Openness to life. Being true to ourself. Living truth. Being conscious of who/what we are.

This is the subject of this blog today.

Peace and Love,

Gavin

The benefits of coaching are manifold. I have personally found that despite being a very independent person, I have needed a second person to bounce ideas off or to give me some accountability when I am stuck.

People come to coaching for a whole load of reasons

Coaching can clarify things for some people when we are confused, unsettled or even bored. In my coaching I look to help people find inner peace and its bi product, happiness. Ultimately though deep down what satisfies us is our connection to the deep awareness within us and the experience of freedom that brings.

Coaching can lead into the discovery of new possibilities and inner potential you can identify who and what is most important for your life.

Out of that, by your own willingness to reflect on your life almost in spite of yourself, which often sabotages our own best efforts, you can realise your true potential.

Benefits:

Decreased stress
Renewed confidence
Sense of connectedness with others
Deeper fufillment in life
Rediscover new meaning
Getting unstuck
New nirections in life
Actions to resolve personal problems or difficult circumstances
New insights

However, coaching isn’t always or frequently not about getting more out of life. It may more often than not be about acceptance, surrender, letting go and allowing things to be as they are. BY this I do not mean resignation or some fatalistic attitude. Once a person accepts themself and situation or circumstances, then it is more possible to find a way through the complexity of life.

Inevitably, a transformation of the person themselves in the way they see the world, will allow them to act with courage and changes in their situation can result. Ultimately, coaching is more about human development than reaching specific goals.

Peace and Love,

Gavin J Gowans

I think there is quite a bit of truth in the evolutionary biological explanation of the human condition. Essentially my understanding is that there was a historical time when we were sane and living relatively cooperative and peaceful existence. Later reported in the Bible as the Garden Of Eden. Probably around 2 million years ago forward to today we progressively changed. It seems of necessity the mind/ego self developed and wanted more knowledge, hence the Fall. The conflict between our true original instinctual self and the mind, which on the whole corrupts, is what creates the current human condition. Unfortunately the human race experiences daily suffering and is kept in place by the denial of the truth of it.

The mystics and people like Eckhart Tolle have been telling us of our need to live with our mind and heart together, as one, for centuries. Right brain and left brain equal. And to let go of the resistant mind and allow the true beingness of God, or for me Christ Consciousness , or Universe whatever term you prefer, to imbue our thoughts, decisions and actions, in a state of intentionless awareness, or oneness.

We are one, the warring instincts and mind are creating the suffering in our world. What Christians call sin. We no longer need to live like this. NOW is the time, the only time in fact.

Scientists are expanding our understanding of what all the major religions have been communicating for thousands of years. A biological and evolutionary perspective broadens our understanding of the truth. So that there is a prospect that as a race we can begin to wake up, put aside our illusory differences and recognise our common humanity and common purpose.

Peace and Love,

Gavin J Gowans

Early this year, a very dear friend of mine asked me to accompany her on what was for her a trip she had thought about walking from when she was a girl. The Way Of St James, The Camino, Les chemins de Saint-Jacques de Compostelle. A pilgrimage walk from where you live to Santiago De Compostelle in Spain.

I was surprised, delighted and nervous in fact.  As you can imagine. For me it was like a lightning  bolt out of the blue. (In fact we would experience  some of that on the walk too!). It had never occurred to me to go on a pilgrimage.  Although I was at first taken aback, I soon realised the opportunity to accompany a good friend and have a bit of an adventure with a strong spiritual element, it seemed very attractive.

And so, it began. I won’t go into all the details because it would simply take too long.  But the preparations slowly began to get into motion and we had 6 months to get ready for what would turn out to be a 2 week trip with 10 days of roughly 20 -25 kms a day walking over some beautiful countryside in the south of France.

Even as I write now, I struggle to put into words the extraordinary experience.  From the very start, when a pilgrimage, starting in Le Puy-En-Velay in southern France, was the last thing on mind at the time.

At the time I was very much dealing with some fairly major life challenges, that touched me deeply, in relationships. My relationship to money, marriage, children, fmaily, freinds and Life itself. The prospect of going on pilgrimage was thrilling, exciting and daunting at the same time.. What was so intriguing was  that despite everything in my life that seemed to point away from going on a pilgrimage at this time, was in fact drawing me on.

I soon discovered that I/we are all pilgrims on the path,  our time here on this sacred earth very short indeed.

PILGRIM SOUL

… one small thing
I’ve learned these years,

how to be alone,
and at the edge of aloneness
how to be found by the world.

Innocence is what we allow
to be gifted back to us
once we’ve given ourselves away.

There is one world only,
the one to which we gave ourselves
utterly, and to which one day

we are blessed to return.

(David Whyte)

Peace and love,

Gavin

For many, many years, I have realised the power of the mind , thoughts and stories that circulate in the mind and which we identify with.

One thing I am sure of Positive Thinking is a lie and so is Negative Thinking.  Both are misleading , because they block openness to other possibilities. I have so often found that when I make it my intention to do something, I will attempt it with a very positive frame of mind.  For example, when I was in the property market I would say “I allow myself to get this deal this time.”  Now that is based on all the available information I have , and the many hours, even years experience of similiar deals.  I am postive.  But, the truth is, the reality is, I may not get this deal.  When I don’t get the deal, it inevitably has the effect of leading to a negative mindset, which I definitely don’t want to have.

I can then get down on myself, for not doing enough research, not hearing the sellers signals, taking a too tough  negotiating stance, whatever.  I end up bouncing between feelings of happiness and sadness as I try to think  of a positive outcome.

Then again, sometimes I feel I am right off the mark, said all the wrong things, not prepared, been to slow off the mark for the deal, or a bit cavalier attitude.  I think, I am never going to get this property deal done.  Just like the last two I missed out on. No chance of getting this.  Then what happens?  I get the deal.  So what does this tell you?  You tell your mind you are going to win or lose and neither carries any more truth than another.  This is where the mind is lying

So the key word here is POSSIBLE.  This is being far more truthful than either positive or negative thinking.  Both of which hides the truth.  What if just now you said, ” Well it is possible that I will get that deal?  Yes. Will  I definitely get the deal? No. Is it possible I might  get the deal.  Yes, this is much nearer the  truth. 

This is neutral thinking.  Being open to the possible.  Being ready and confident that whatever the outcome, you will move forward, creatively, intuitionally and constructively.

Because the tendency will be, after not getting the outcome you positively desire, is that you will look for a way to fix it, negatively thinking about the result you didn’t get. Going over and over how wrong it went.  This can paralyse a person and inhibit someone from moving forward to the real step.

The question you can ask your self is…

Am I willing to accept the situation as it is?

Acceptance is a prerequisite for moving forward into the creative space.

Another useful question might be.

What is this here to teach me?

So, next time, save yourself a lot of worry, unecessary swings between negative and positive , happiness and sadness.  I am not saying don’t make goals.  Yes be clear about your intention, take action (thinking isn’t enough),accept the result (by that I don’t mean give up, but accept it sa it is, then move on from there), then deal with it from the mindset of  possibility.

Peace and Love,

Gavin

PS Our lives are full of possibility, you can realise it.

I got a bit caught out today, just in time to get at least one post for May. Can’t believe it is already the end of the month. A lovely day though. Time to right at least one blog this month. It looks better doesn’t it? More active, the search engines like it better too.

Even this small communication from me begs the question…what do I really want in life? Because up until now so much of my life , it turns out, has been run by desires and thoughts that remain unconscious. Until of course something painful comes a long to wake me up!

In my case it was the collapse of my property business, death of someone I loved, and the realisation that the direction I was going in my life was more or less completely contrary to my purpose and values.

How could it be possible? I consider myself a reasonably good person, spiritually practical, wanting the best for my wife and family…or am I?

Turns out I was wrong. In fact I am just the same as everyone eles , basically self – interested. But at least now I know. I am no different from anyone else at heart. What a great revelation. We’re all the same!

Self – interested.

Looking outside especially for the things I thought I wanted. To be a millionaire, debt free, loads of time to pursue what I enjoyed with my friends and family. A loving marriage.

Except my self-interest prevented me from having it all, that is, what really counted. I got very very stuck looking for what I wanted.

Deep down I knew it was happiness I sought, and that was to be found on the inside, not in the money or status or things. In fact money I found out was a real issue for me which unless I could deal with it in an aware, integral way, would always be an issue come to haunt me. Something I served rather than serving me. A constant restlessness for more and more and more, never seeing the abundance that is all around, inside and out. Never knowing when enough was enough.

The quest isn’t over, will it ever be? Well perhaps for the very rare enlightened individual , the quest may be over. But for most of us, we are still looking for that happiness, peace and imperturbability. Which is actually right here, right now.

Its never left you and me.

Now isn’t that good news?

Till the next time.

Love and peace,

Gavin