I Will Restore The Years The Locusts Have Eaten. What Has This Got To Do With Stress Reduction?

Locusts! Have you seen what they can do? They can literally decimate a crop in minutes.  Rendering whole villages , farmers and their families without food or income. Can you imagine the pain and stress that having your livelihood taken away like that brings?  Having your crops destroyed may create a struggle for your very survival.

I know for myself that my life at times seems to be  as stripped bare and threatening as a locust storm. So far thankfully not in food, clothing or shelter but in terms of my appreciation for what I have or the seeming lack of progress in the intentions I have made. Primarily in reduction stress and helping others be the person they were born to be. But the real lack was in awareness of a real sense of purpose, and of the abundance and liberation that I already have. Right now, right here. 

Economic recession. Depression. The great recession, whatever it is, can seem like a storm threatening  to destroy everything we have built up.  Or take away the little we already have.

The difficult times, when seen for what they are, as the opportunity to learn and grow and develop your true purpose and infinite potential.  It can then become the portal to a new life, new strength and new courage.

If money is causing you stress right now.  Or you are looking for stress relief. It might help you to watch this video by Lynn Twist.  If you are wanting to reduce stress in your life , discover awareness find inner peace, love and liberation.  Maybe A radical change in your understanding and experience of money will help. Let go of all this stuff.

  

If you have been watching recently the Blood, Sweat and Takeaway series on BBC1 on Monday nights, I could not help be struck once more that the real poverty is not lack of abundance it is the deeply ingrained subconscious belief that I am not enough, I am not good enough.  This sense of lack is the root of pshychological spiritual poverty in our age from which stems the seemingly un satisfiable desire for more.

Have a look at this BBC series and see the reality of life for the people who are trying to exist by satisfying our consumer societies madness. 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00kmtb1/Blood_Sweat_and_Takeaways_Tuna/

Looking again at my life I cannot but be struck by the abundant provision of everything  I have in terms of life, relationships, health and resources.  I may be temporarily suffering a seemingly lack of abundance right now.  But the truth is I have enough, I am enough, I do enough I am good enough.

What about you?

Are you too finding yourself struggling with a lack of peace, money, lack of relationship, employment, lack of true enjoyment or sense of purpose or destiny whatever it is.

Do you think you are  sufficient?  Do you think you have enough. Do you want more? Let me know.

Wherever you are in life right here, right now, trust me, if you take the time to look deep enough you will find within you the sure realisation that there is enough, right now, for you to be, do and have. There is a Source of Life which is unlimited and which has the Power to restore the years that the locusts have eaten, and to make all things new.

Peace,

 

 

 

Gavin J Gowans

Confidence Works: Learn To Be Your Own Life Coach

Hi There.

This weeks review comes from the book McMahon, G (2001) Confidence Works: Learn To Be Your Own Life Coach, London: Sheldon Press.

BUt before you move on to reading this great easy to read review, all done for you!  I want to let you know about a free teleseminar on the 30th of June at 7.30pm GMT.  Entitled the Spirituality Of Self Esteem. 

It is the first time I will be hosting this and I think it will be great. Email me for details. 

Gladeana McMahon comes with a suberb resume.  She has appeared on radio, TV, was an agony aunt for Yes! Magazine, adviser to Big Brother, she is a writer, conference speaker and a senior lecturer with the University of East London and co director of the Stress Management Centre.  Quite a CV!

This book as the name suggests is aimed at people who wish increase their confidence and self belief and get the most out of their life. But is also and enabling book as its purpose is to empower you, the individual, to learn your own life coaching skills.

Its may message is that by taking charge of your own life you can create more happiness, more success and a better life for yourself.  That it will increase your confidence 10 fold by working through the various exercises and information. Do the work says Gladeana and you will see the changes.

There is certainly a lot packed into this 145 page self help manual for confidence and assertiveness training. Drawing on cognitive psychology, mainly cognitive behavioural therapy techniques.  Gladeana systematically leads the reader through managing their thinking, feelings, actions and attitudes.  As a life coach I can see how useful this book could be as it is filled with lots of exercises and techniques that could be applied to any coaching session as well as for those looking to use it as a self help manual.  Many of these exercises are well known, some of which are as follows.

The Life Audit, Robinson’s four stages of Learning, visualisation, ABCDE model, problem solving model, SMART, the time allocation pie, Big I, little I.  Very useful and as relevant now as they were 8 years ago when this book was published. Each chapter begins with an assessment of a particular life skill and ends with a life skills action plan.

Perhaps it is the books thoroughness which despite this strength, could also be its weakness.  I think many people who are lacking in confidence and assertiveness may well be daunted by the prospect of working their way thorough these exercises which promise so many benefits.   It is a substantial commitment mentally, emotionally and of time and effort. And although it is thorough it is by its size only able to cover so much depth.

The book itself, again is packed full of exercises yet the layout is a bit hard on the eyes and a bit dry reading, I think.  It might be better suited to as a reference book.   Again on the subject of references, there are literally no empirically evidence based references for the techniques and models used through out the whole book.  Again you would need to approach it with some conviction or at least willingness to give it a try.  If you were looking for research evidence to back the approaches, there is virtually none.  Although there is a mention of Daniel Goleman on page 59 in relation to his work on Emotional Intelligence.

That is not to say that CBT and the exercises and premises is not well researched, it is just that for the average reader, they would have to look out information for themselves as it is not all contained in the book.

All and all I think it is a very well put together book with lots of exercises that touch on many of the issues arising through lack of confidence and self-esteem.  However, it would take I think a bit more than this one book alone to create the change that many would seek, it is a useful place to start.  I think the help and support of a life coach would be a very great benefit.

 

References

Goleman, D. (1997)  Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ ,Bantam,New York

Peace,

 

 

Gavin J Gowans

PS Remember the free teleseminar on TUesday the 30th June at 7.30pm GMT  Email me now for details.

Get Everything Done And Still Have Time To Play

I decided that a book review would be helpful.  At some time in the very near future I’d like to offer this as a service.  For now I have enough on my plate though, more about this later. Meantime the book this week is Mark Forster’s, (2000) Get Everything Done And Still Have Time To Play,Hodder and Stoughton, London

  

With some anticipation I was really looking forward to reading this book as I had heard of Mark Forster’s reputation in the time management world and because time management is something I have always been interested in.  I was looking for new information and wasn’t disappointed.

  

This book was published in 2000, in today’s world that seems like a long time.  Much of the world of work has changed considerably due to the advances and availability of post-modern technology.  Which if it were to be believed, should help us to be more efficient.  However I doubt if the word efficient is really on Marks mind when he wrote this book. Like the seminal work The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People (1) the focus is on effectiveness, not efficiency. We can be highly efficient but completely in the wrong direction.

  

Mark focuses on effective time management outcomes such as maximising our enjoyment of work and leisure.  The good manager he says is decisive not impulsive. The key to this book and its main strength is that the author writes from his own experience.  He has tried and tested many of the other time management guru suggestions and basically found them wanting.

  

He doesn’t throw the baby out with the bath water however.  Rather he has adapted common time management techniques to his own style.  And in fact encourages the reader to do the same with his suggestions too.  He clearly practices what he preaches.  Only by dealing with resistance says Forster will his system and others will work.
 
Success he says is got by repeated, consistent, focused action with a bit of hard work thrown in. Do things in short bursts with frequent planned breaks. Add to that potent mixture automated systems to deal with the main culprate which is resistance, aversion, avoidance or the P words procrastination and perfectionism.  Something which according to Burka and Yuen affects 25% of US citizens. (2)

  

The system is based on project check lists, not to do lists (which he says are really for emergencies only), and deal with resistance by using his check system and halving technique (described on pages 120-3) to deal with free flowing activities, e.g. emails, phone calls, letter writing, projects and so forth. This allows a person to keep on track, taking small steps at a time whilst working in short bursts and taking frequent breaks.

  

He says we need to learn to allocate our work time and free time properly in order to maximise the available time and learn to cope with interruptions and emergencies.  One of the basic tenets is simply saying “No” to tasks until you can give the right time and attention to them. By simply removing added commitments, over time we focus on what we need to be working on much more effectively. We can also look at our current commitments and remove the ones that are no longer necessary.  This in itself will result in freeing valuable time and helping us remain more relaxed which is important for effective work.

 

One criticism I would have is that to do the tasks you must use a timer and stick to it rigidly, I think this might be were many people might fall down.  However, this is only for the initial stages, over time as you get more disciplined it is not as necessary to do. Another criticism is that there is no empirical evidence to back up a lot of his theories and principles on time management.  What works for him, may not work for you. I would also have liked to have seen a more updated version, mine was from the local library, with more diagrams and pictures, which tend to make it easier to read.  One positive thought here was that he did have useful summaries (action points) at the end of every chapter.

I found this book to be a very valuable, easily readable and simple steps that when applied would help most people.  I have personally applied several of his key principles and experienced increased enjoyment of what I am doing and the added confidence in completing task on time with less stress.

  

REFERENCES

(1) Covey, S.R. (1992) The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People, London, Simon & Schuster
(2) Burka, J B. & Yuen, L M. (2008)  Procrastination: Why You Do It, What To Do About It Now, Cambridge, MA, USA, Perseus Books Group

 

 

 

 

 

Peace,

 

 

 

Gavin J Gowans

Time Management Tips

  

  

Generally I have found these very helpful especially if you are prone to procrastination, perfectionism or disapproving of yourself. I hope you find these as helpful as I have too.

1. Set Goals. Goals give your life, and the way you spend your time, direction. When asked the secret to amassing such a fortune, one of the famous Hunt brothers from Texas replied: “First you’ve got to decide what you want.” Set goals which are specific, measurable, realistic and achievable. Your optimum goals are those which cause you to “stretch” but not “break” as you strive for achievement. Goals can give creative people a much-needed sense of direction.

2. Prioritize. Use the 80-20 Rule originally stated by the Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto who noted that 80 percent of the reward comes from 20 percent of the effort. The trick to prioritizing is to isolate and identify that valuable 20 percent. Once identified, prioritize time to concentrate your work on those items with the greatest reward.

3. Use a To Do List. Some people thrive using a daily To Do List which they construct either the last thing the previous day or first thing in the morning. Such people may combine a To Do List with a calendar or schedule. Others prefer a “running” To Do List which is
continuously being updated. Or, you may prefer a combination of the two previously described To Do Lists. Whatever method works is best for you. Don’t be afraid to try a new system-you just might find one that works even better than your present one!

4. Be Flexible. Allow time for interruptions and distractions. Time management experts often suggest planning for just 50 percent or less of ones time. With only 50 percent of your time planned, you will have the flexibility to handle interruptions and the unplanned “emergency.” When you expect to be interrupted, schedule routine tasks. Save (or make) larger blocks of time for your priorities. When interrupted, ask yourself the question, “What is the most important thing I can be doing with my time right now?” to help you get back on track fast.

5. Consider Your Biological Prime Time. That’s the time of day when you are at your best. Are you a “morning person,” a “night owl,” or a late afternoon “whiz?” Knowing when your best time is and planning to use that time of day for your priorities (if possible) is effective time management.

6. Do The Right Thing Right. Noted management expert, Peter Drucker, says “doing the right thing is more important than doing things right” Doing the right thing is effectiveness; doing things right is efficiency. Focus first on effectiveness (identifying what is the right thing to do), then concentrate on efficiency (doing it right).

7. Eliminate the Urgent. Urgent tasks have short-term consequences while important tasks are those with long-term, goal-related implications. Work towards reducing the urgent things you must do so you’ll have time for your important priorities. Flagging or highlighting items on your To Do List or attaching a deadline to each item may help keep important items from becoming urgent emergencies.

8. Practice the Art of Intelligent Neglect. Eliminate from your life trivial tasks or those tasks which do not have long-term consequences for you. Can you delegate or eliminate any of your To Do List? Work on those tasks which you alone can do.

9. Let go of being a Perfectionist. In the Malaysian culture, only the gods are considered capable of producing anything perfect. Whenever something is made, a flaw is left on purpose so the gods will not be offended. Yes, some things need to be closer to perfect than others, but perfectionism, paying unnecessary attention to detail, can be a form of procrastination.

10. Procrastination. One technique to try is the “Swiss cheese” method. When you are avoiding something, break it into smaller tasks and do just one of the smaller tasks or set a tuner and work on the big task for just 15 minutes. By doing a little at a time, eventually you’ll reach a point where you’ll want to finish.

11. Learn to Say “NO” Such a small word-and so hard to say. Focusing on your goals my help. Blocking time for important, but often not scheduled, priorities such as family and friends can also help. But first you must be convinced that you and your priorities are important that seems to be the hardest part in learning to say “no.” Once convinced of their importance, saying “no” to the unimportant-life gets easier.

12. Give Yourself Approval. Even for small successes, celebrate achievement of goals. Doing so will help you maintain the necessary balance in life between work and play. If we learn to balance excellence in work with excellence in play, fun and relaxation, our lives become happier, healthier and a great deal more creative.

13. Strengthen Your Intention. Have an intention when you get up in the morning and during the day. This is very important to keeping yourself on track.

 

Peace,

 

 

 

Gavin J Gowans

 PS The above are drawn from a useful course called The Ultimate Time Management Course by Larry Crane  You will need to do the Abundance Course first though.  One caution I would make.  I personally have completed many of the Release Technique courses.  They are very effective, but personally the focus on becoming a millionaire in and of itself I  did not find helpful.  My preference would definitely be for the courses led by Hale Dwoskin and the Sedona Method.  Ultimately I think that our personal growth isn’t to get wealthy or anything else merely for itself.  It is about growing and of being of service to others.

What Is Stress?

You are rushing to work and thinking of all the things you need done but do not have the time to do it.

You are stuck in traffic and your mind wanders to all the unfinished chores and responsibilities. 

The deadline for a project you are working on is coming up and you are nowhere near completing it.

You work at home and your children are screaming at each other, you are behind in your work and you still have a load of house chores to complete. 

You were just laid off from work and you really needed that income to help support your family. You barely have any savings to depend on.

You took a chance in the stock market and lost all your life’s savings and even your children’s education funds.

You are stuck in a troubled relationship and you do not know how to deal with it.

These are some examples of situations that might result in stress, you can’t concentrate, you lose your appetite, you cannot sleep very well, your nerves are on edge and you are easily angered. It is in situations like these that people become overwhelmed by all the responsibilities, issues and problems weighing them down. 

This is what stress is all about.

Eventually, you may start getting headaches, migraines, stomach upsets and a whole host of medical conditions as a result of extreme stress that were left untreated. In this modern society, stress over work, money and relationships has become the norm. Not a day will pass that many people will not experience some form of stress, regardless of whether it is job-related, love-related or money-related.

Stress has become a common feature of our fast-paced and modern world and it is also one of the most common reasons people fall sick or call in sick at work. This is not because they want to escape from a stressful environment but because stress has brought about unhealthy symptoms.

So, how do you recognise stress?

You know you are stressed when: 

• You are more irritable than normal
• You are panicky and anxious alot of the time
• You cannot concentrate at all
• You feel helpless and useless
• You avoid socialising
• You feel depressed or low in mood all the time

Frequently, you will also begin to get:

• Headaches / migraines
• Under-the-weather feelings
• Insomnia
• Colds and infections easily and frequently
• Stomach aches
• Back pain
• Nervous breakdown
• Trembling / shaky hands
• Profuse sweating

There may also be long-term effects of stress such as an inefficient immune system, high blood pressure, weak bones, weight gain, deteriorating brain cells and a reduced ability to fight diseases.

Luckily, stress management is now taken seriously and there are so many different ways to de-stress for a healthier and more cheerful life. Many people are acknowledging the adverse effects of stress and they are doing something about it.

Helping people to manage their stress, if not to eliminate completely, is one of the main objectives of the information on this  site.

If you need any help or more information, you can always contact me.

Peace and Love,

 

 

 

Gavin J Gowans

Awareness – A New Beginning

Here I am thinking about you and all the people I have yet to meet and how I might fulfilll my side of things. I got to thinking about awareness.   One of my first realizations of what that meant came from author, Jesuit priest, psychologist and seminar leader Anthony de Mello.  His book Awareness is one of the finest books on finding your true purpose around. De Mello claimed that most people are asleep and need to wake up, open up their spiritual  eyes, and see the reality of what is.  He said that the greatest human gift is to be aware and be in touch with your body and mind. He also insisted that to be aware means realizing the needs and potential of others.

My intention now is to begin a new phase of life, life coaching and teaching Meditation and mindfulness based stress reduction.   Like Anthony de Mello, who was such an inspiration to me, I truly desire that everyone is able to wake up and fulfill their true purpose in life.  That I can be a part of the process of self-realisation in the lives of others, of encountering directly the God or Beingness that is behind all concepts, forms and religious formulas.

When we fulfill our most basic need, to be the person we truly are, we can fully participate and be happy in the other aspects of our lives such as family, friendship, marriage, society and work.  My intention is to offer you the best means possible to do that through coaching, meditation and stress reduction services and products over the coming months and years.

Looking at the current state of the world.  Don’t you think we owe it to ourselves to be all we can be? We need to give ourselves the kind of rest and rejuvenation, even transformation, that stillness and silence  provides.  To find the strength and guidance we are looking for in these uncertain times does take practice, commitment and willingness to be the change that we are looking for. Change is growth, but change for changing sake is probably not helpful. Know and accept yourself for who and what you really are and change may happen!

I’d like to end with a story….

True Spirituality

The master was asked, “What is Spirituality?”

He said, “Spirituality is that which succeeds in bringing one to inner transformation.”

“But if I apply the traditional methods handed down by the masters, is that not spirituality?”

“It is not spiritulaity if it does not perform its function for you. A blanket is not longer a blanket if it does not keep you warm.”

“So spirituality does change?”

“People change and needs change. So what was spirituality once is spirituality no more. What generally goes under the name of spirituality is merely the record of past methods.”

(From the Song Of The Bird, Anthony de Mello)

Let me know what you think the story means, for you….

I wish you all health and abundance in life .

Peace and Love,

 

 

Gavin J Gowans

Listening Support Skills – Back To The Basics

There is nothing like going back to basics and so I recently decided to go back to learning listening and support skills.  Skills that I as a Life Coach and other’s are likely to use on a regular basis. Perhaps you too can benefit from learning or revising these skills for yourself? They can and are used in our everyday lives, often without us even realising it. It’s a thought isn’t it? Even if it’s not something you considered before you might like it.

If you can listen to others well, I think there is no doubt that you will be much more effective person and find life alot more fulfilling. Some of the people I have admired most in my life had the ability to make me feel I was valued and understood, at times better than I understood myself.

I have found that somehow by helping others we benefit too.  It is a natural rule, it is by helping others get what they want that we get what we want. Or again, the Golden Rule, do to others that which you want done to you. This is The Law Of Reciprocity at work.

However even if you have no interest in learning or deepening your listening skills.   Just sitting with another person, providing a space for the both of you and allowing your self to become attuned to the true prescence of a person can be a transforming experience.

Although for me this has been something that has not happened overnight,and I continue to work on,it works eventually.  The first place to start is by listening to yourself.  By that I mean being aware of the thoughts and feelings that fly around all day and night.  I don’t mean either the constant mental paralysis of analysis, but rather just being aware of what is going on in the present moment. It is through this awareness that you can learn and grow and ultimately be free to be the person you truly are.

There are plenty of ways to do this.

And once we can truly see ourself as we are it is so much easier to listen and help others.

Peace and Love,

 

 

Gavin J Gowans

Finding My True Purpose

It all happened almost spontaneous actually. Today I decided to be a meditation teacher sometime in the future, and just weeks before that I decided to be a Life Coach.  In fact I start my training Life Coach training with Alice Muir Training today. Over my many years of meditating, spiritual reading, personal enquiry and having faced the challenges of being a business owner, quality of life was still not what  I wanted it be.  There is always some past glory or failure, or some future fear or potential better life that took up the space in my mind and life.   I read a quote today “Many a man has found the acquisition of wealth only a change,not and end, of miseries.” – Lucious Annaeus Senenca

I guess I felt that through creating wealth and a providing a secure financial future I would be in a position to take a chance then and do what I really loved.  But now I know, there is never a right time or the perfect time to start something you truly know and love, but now.  Because now is all there ever  is.  I was stuck , in fear, seeking the very thing the perfect place to be in, when it was closer to me than the tip of my nose!

Ultimately what is it that we are all looking for? A life of happiness without sorrow. To be love. I tried to find the ‘…peace that surpasses all understanding’ for so long.  Most recently in various property businesses, in which I had some limited success, but like everything else I tried it just didn’t satisfy. What is success but a predefined goal which we set ourselves to achieve often setting ourselves up for failure? I discovered however that the success mindset I took on was in of itself part of the problem.  Since then I realised that it is not success per se but rather the quality of my attention in the present moment, that one moment , which is all we ever have, that determines our ‘success’.  Not in society’s, family, friends, spouse or employers estimation but in fulfilling our true purpose which is to be the love that we are looking for in this world.

 

It is the quality of our attention, the realisation of who and what we are at the core and the gradual, sometimes immediate dropping off of all the stuff we identify with that we call ‘me’. It is through this ‘work’ that we can begin to truly live the way we always intended to and in doing so not only help be the happiness we seek but also help others find themselves too. 

To be space, to be stillness….

Exactly how this will happen I don’t know, and it probably doesn’t matter. I didn’t achieve the financial cushion I was striving for after all.  But I have found the courage and clarity I need to make a life decision right now.  To live my life in alignment with God’s will and purpose, especially through the life and teaching of Jesus Christ.

I have begun with this blog, and will begin online with an ezine for people who are looking to find their true purpose in life, and for people who wish to deal with the blocks to realising their true selves and living in alignment with that.  Meantime, why don’t you go over to a new website I have put up that will help bring us together as an online community to inspire one another to find our true purpose in life. Let’s continue to grow and learn to be part of the new earth that is surely what we need now.

Love and Peace,

 

 

Gavin J Gowans

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